Trouble in Paradise....

A friend of mine recently sent me the link to the following article. I was disturbed, to say the least, as I have always been a big fan of "Jon & Kate Plus Eight." Upon viewing this season's premier, I found myself disgusted at the whole situation and a little disenchanted. I also felt convicted after reading this quote:

"Sexual immorality—whether actual or merely suspected—caught our attention, but the materialism, narcissism, and exploitation of children that preceded it was largely overlooked."

The Gospel and the Gosselins
Evangelicals and the making of Jon & Kate Plus Eight.
Julie Vermeer Elliott | posted 6/01/2009 11:04AM

If you have recently stood in line at the grocery store and glanced at the tabloid covers, chances are you have seen the faces of reality TV stars Jon and Kate Gosselin. Jon and Kate are stars of the wildly popular TLC show Jon & Kate Plus Eight, which documents the life of this Pennsylvania couple as they raise their eight children, 8-year-old twins and 5-year-old sextuplets. Until recently, Jon and Kate were celebrated as models of wholesome family values. Sure, they bickered a lot, but they were committed to staying together for the long haul. Indeed, last season featured them renewing their wedding vows on the beach in Hawaii. Such commitment endeared them to the watching public and made them TLC's most profitable commodity.

Of all the viewers who followed the Gosselins, evangelicals were among the most faithful. Jon and Kate's refusal to resort to "selective reduction" when they found themselves pregnant with sextuplets, their membership in an Assemblies of God church, and their Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts all helped to make them icons of evangelical piety. Churches from across the country clamored to be added to their speaking tours. In the last two years the vast majority of Jon and Kate's presentations took place at Christian conferences or at evangelical churches, most often Baptist, nondenominational or charismatic.

Zondervan, one of the foremost evangelical presses, published two books with the Gosselins, both of which hit the New York Times bestseller list. The popular tongue-in-cheek blog Stuff Christians Like listed "Watching Jon and Kate Plus 8" on its list of favored Christian products or activities. Evangelicals dependably tuned in to the television show as the family received free trips to posh resorts, when the couple underwent plastic surgery, and when they moved from a comfortable house in the suburbs to a sprawling estate in the country. If they noticed that Jon and Kate's family and friends—most notably Aunt Jodi and Beth—were, one by one, being estranged from the family (reportedly over financial disputes), it did not stop believers from looking to this couple for inspiration on how to be a good Christian family.

Then everything changed. Reports surfaced that Jon was out partying with co-eds and getting too friendly with a 23-year-old teacher. Shortly thereafter the tabloids claimed that Kate was having an affair with her bodyguard and that she had given Jon the go-ahead to see other women, as long as he showed up for filming. The truthfulness of all of these claims has yet to be established. But one thing is clear—the marriage is crumbling. In fact, on the season five premiere, which aired on Memorial Day, the couple expressed no love for one another and made no promises about being together in the future. Both appeared ready to file for divorce.

Viewers, and especially evangelical viewers, are aghast. How could such a loving, Christian family disintegrate so quickly? Is the failure of their marriage due to the stress of parenting multiples? Can it be attributed to Kate's love of celebrity versus Jon's desire to retreat from the limelight? Might it be the result of living under constant (albeit self-imposed) surveillance? I suspect that each of these theories tell part of the story. But the story that has not been told is the one that sees in Jon and Kate the shortcomings of evangelical piety itself.

We evangelicals tend to be easily impressed. We cheered on Jon and Kate's decision to carry all six babies to term but rarely considered the prior question: Was it right for them to undergo risky fertility treatments in the first place? They had been married only a matter of months when Kate, who was in her mid-20s at the time, took fertility medication to stimulate her ovaries for intrauterine insemination and became pregnant with their twins, Cara and Mady.

Only a few years later, Kate's ovaries were stimulated once again, but this time they were hyper-stimulated. Warned by their doctor during an ultrasound examination that the fertility medication had worked a little too well and that four mature follicles were present, Jon and Kate nonetheless went ahead with the insemination. Apparently their doctor had miscounted on that fateful day, because Kate soon discovered that she was pregnant with seven embryos (one of which miscarried a short time later). Six babies were growing in a space designed for one, posing great risks to the life of each baby as well as to the life of their mother. Faced with this unintended but preventable situation, Jon and Kate were right to carry all of the babies to term. But this decision is not enough to warrant their status as models of Christian faithfulness. That most evangelicals were satisfied to celebrate the end—six miraculous lives—rather than assess the morality of the means whereby those lives were created, betrays the thinness of evangelical reflection on reproductive ethics. Too often our ethics have focused so singularly on the question of abortion that we have given comparatively little attention to the morally-significant issues surrounding infertility, reproductive technology, childbirth, and parenting. As such, we have a hard time challenging the assumptions of our consumerist culture or those who, like Jon and Kate, seem to be beholden to it.

As fellow Christians, we should have reminded the Gosselins that life is a gift to be received in gratitude, not something to be grasped, purchased, or sold. In many ways, the last four seasons of Jon & Kate Plus Eight is the story of a family that seemed to progressively lose sight of this truth. Of course, they had help along the way from TLC, from the show's producers, and not least of all, from their Christian viewers.

When the first few episodes revealed the earning potential of this "everyday family," Jon & Kate Plus Eight became a brand name that was packaged and sold. And many Christians were happy to comply by opening up their wallets and their fellowship halls. When the network and the couple were not satisfied with the money generated through high ratings and book sales, the Gosselin home was filled with product placements and the children were filmed for long hours each week. All the while many (though not all) evangelicals watched with undiscerning eyes. Somewhere along the line we, like Jon and Kate, seemed to forget the warnings of 1 Timothy 6:9-10 - "But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains." (NRSV)
It was not until the recent allegations of sexual impropriety arose that a significant number of Christians began to question whether Jon and Kate were indeed the examples of faithful living that we had imagined. Somehow most of us missed the long trajectory that was, day by day, moving them farther from a life of Christian virtue. Sexual immorality—whether actual or merely suspected—caught our attention, but the materialism, narcissism, and exploitation of children that preceded it was largely overlooked.

As such, the breakdown of Jon and Kate's marriage is but a symptom of the larger weaknesses of ethics in the evangelical community. We are easily seduced by wealth and fame. We are easily contented by the shallow rhetoric of hot-button issues. In short, we are easily deceived by cultural values painted in Christian veneers (or clothed in Isaiah 40:31 T-shirts).

The hope for us—and the hope of Jon and Kate—is to turn once again to the rich, complex, and difficult ethics of Jesus and to let those ethics form us into a more discerning people in the world. It is time that we look for role models who value self-sacrifice over material gain. It is time that we practice forgiveness and the healing of broken relationships and call fellow Christians to do the same. It is time that we take our own marriage vows seriously and hold our brothers and sisters to be true to their commitments as well. Most importantly, it is time that we develop a view of faith and life that is capable of asking deep questions and courageous enough to embody real answers. Then, and only then, will Christians have something to offer the world and something to offer Jon & Kate Plus Eight.

Julie Vermeer Elliott is a faculty member at Eastern University, St. Davids, PA, where she teaches courses in Christian ethics and interdisciplinary studies and directs advising and first-year programs. She holds a master of theological studies degree from Duke Divinity School.

"Speaking Out" is Christianity Today's guest opinion column and (unlike an editorial) does not necessarily represent the opinion of the publication.

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FANTASTIC!

Today, I headed over to Kaiser Elementary in Roseville for a Walk-A-Thon. I'm still unsure as to what we were walking for! :-) I had a great time with the 4th grade class. Here are some interesting facts pertaining to said Walk-A-Thon:

1. - We walked around the perimeter of the school eight times.
2. - The weather was gorgeous, but hot where shade was not present.
3. - Austin Blanton has a FANTASTIC voice...in his opinion... He serenaded me the entire time with such random selections as "Celebrate", "Funky Town", "I Love Rock 'n' Roll", etc. Let me tell you, I was about ready to "put another quarter in the jukebox, baby" 'cause I needed to hear something other than the "harmonious" strains of Austin's pre-pubescent voice... Need I say more? I love the kid. He's hilarious and, quite frankly, a joy! However, I don't see him making it to the American Idol finals anytime soon. Sorry, Austin.
4. - Tabitha Boling. VERY FUNNY GIRL! Every time we would stop for a break, she'd belt out, "Keep going! I wanna get this over with!" She is a very sweet girl who surprised me with her new-found assertiveness!
5. - I had a great time with Terri Simants, the 4th grade teacher that I work with. She truly loves and cares for her students. She informed me that she chose to sponser one of her kids in order that they could attend a fieldt rip to Mackinac Island. How cool! Terri does a FANTASTIC job of prominently, yet humbly displaying her love for Christ clearly to her kids. FANTASTIC!
6. - I love Wayne Johnson, the principal, of Kaiser. This guy is in love with Jesus. Praise the Lord for Wayne's godly leadership within the Roseville school district. Great principal, friend, and brother and FANTASTIC encourager.
7. - Perris Gunter filled me on all the crushes. The boys adamantly denied having a crush on anyone.....as their cheeks turned bright red.... :-)
8. - I felt FANTASTIC after completing the eight laps around the school! My ankle held up quite well and I feel refreshed and invigorated!
9. - I have become very attached to these kids and will miss them next year. I am so grateful for the involvement of my church in the lives of these kids. We've been blessed in that God has allowed us to openly minister to them via Connect, the Kaiser Science Fair, the spaghetti dinner, and today's Walk-A-Thon. I look forward to continued opportunities to reach these kids for Christ. What a FANTASTIC day!

Random thoughts about showering and birthdays...

Okay, so here I am at the folks' waiting to get into the shower. This brings back memories of living in a one-bathroom house with my younger sister and tub-time-loving father, praying that I would not wet my pants because bathroom time was hard to come by. That was before my brother was born...

Today, is my brother's 18th birthday. I can remember a time where he would flat out refuse to shower. Now, it's difficult to get him out of the shower in time to catch a few drops of hot H20 for myself. Ever try rinsing Pantene out of your hair with cold water? Doesn't work.

Okay, back to the issue of the birthday. Looks like we are doing a night on the town at Famous Dave's and then back to the homestead for a little surprise party thrown together by mi madre y yo (that's Espanol for: my mother and I). Good thing lil' bro doesn't read my blog or the surprise would not be! :-)

It's funny how I had this thought that he would be done showering by the time I reached then end of this post. He's not.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction...

Sooo…. Here I sit, on a Sunday evening, watching The Apprentice. I’ve had a long day at work and missed Easter Sunday services at my church. My mood is reflective (and sleepy) and inquisitive. I am wondering how to approach a particular situation. I am wondering if an approach is even necessary.

Two days ago, I had a very interesting conversation in my kitchen. This conversation shed some light, but also made scenarios and situations and little darker.

My roommate has a five-year-old daughter. I have been very aware of this fact for the last three years. This little girl lives with us and makes those in her presence aware of her existence at every opportunity. She is a bubbly, bright, sometimes mischievous little spark plug. I love her dearly.

Each April, my roommate’s now thirteen-year-old nephew comes to stay with us for a couple of weeks. He currently resides in the Czech Republic (that’s a bit of a drive)!  He is also quite bright and somewhat old for his age.

Friday morning, I noticed my roommate’s daughter referring to her cousin as “my brother”. I naively thought she was joking and corrected her. The “nephew” then corrected me by stating that my roommate is his mother, not his aunt. Hmmm…. My roommate has only mentioned that she has been married once before and that she only has one child. Come to find out, my roommate was, at one point, married to her “nephew’s” father, gave birth to her “nephew” and then divorced her “nephew’s” father. She later remarried her daughter’s father, became pregnant, and divorced for a second time.

The nephew proceeded to share with me that he lives “all over the world”. When asking him exactly what that meant, he clarified by saying that his father moves a lot for work purposes. Thinking that his father probably has a career in international trade or finance, I asked what his father does for a living. His response, “My father is a tailor.” Hmmm... I do not know any tailors who are required to move around the world in order to support themselves…

This is all very unusual to me as my roommate has always referred to her son as her “nephew”. She has never ever mentioned that she has been married twice. She only refers to her second marriage. I find even more unusual that, when asked how many children she has, she always responds, “One. I have a daughter.” The whole tailor bit is also quite interesting to me.

I am wondering whether the topic is worth mentioning or if I should let sleeping dogs lie… My overall feeling is that I am somewhat indifferent to the situation. This has always been the case. My knowing versus my not knowing the full story really has little bearing on the present circumstances. The dilemma is whether or not to believe other facts she’s relayed to me. Will she continue to be untruthful with situations that could later on harm or affect one or both of us? While I care deeply for her soul and wish the truth to be known, is it really my job to press the issue??? Should I wait on the Lord to bring the truth to light?

Many things to ponder while watching “The Donald”…

Donut-Dunkin' Dynamic Duo

Okay, so I have been watching two little boys since yesterday. Their parents are out of town for a last "hoorah" until the birth of their fourth child sometime in May. When I agreed to do this, I had no idea what I was getting myself into (as is usually the case when I agree to do something)! We have been having a blast, but these are two very busy little boys! Experience as a nanny and well seasoned babysitter has taught me that constant entertainment is the the key to successful childcare.

Yesterday, our adventure began roughly five minutes after booting Mom and Dad out the door! We headed to the mall in hopes of seeking out the kiddie play area. We huffed and we puffed and we tore through the mall like three wild banchees. Upon arrival at the play station, we were disappointed to see a signed posted which read "play area closed". Nuts! We then tore back through the mall (I think we were ponies this time) to head to a different mall. Long story short, we managed to achieve the same results, "play area closed". Well, this was discouraging! Okay, the third time's the charm, right? We rip-roared across town to mall #3... You do not even want to go there... "Play area closed". The boys and I are convinced that there is a conspiracy in the state of Michigan to detain us from enjoying any mall kiddie play area. How rude! Praise the Lord for MacDonald's! God's gift to preschoolers! I can honestly say that I have never spent more than one hour inside a MacDonald's in my entire life......until yesterday. Let the good times roll. We jumped! We ran! We chased! We climbed! We slid! We giggled! And we wet our pants. Well, not ALL of us. Just one of us. Thankfully, the one who was wearing the diaper....he will remain nameless so as not to cause embarassment.

After an exhausting visit to Micky D's, we headed to the gym at church, per the request of Braeden. He wanted to play in the "dim" (a.k.a. "gym"). It is amazing what one can do with ping pong balls... We golfed! Who knew? We then played a rousing game of hide-'n'-seek (some of us could not keep quiet while hiding due to giggling fits), then we hurled basketballs at the net in hopes of make a basket. This simply was not to be. Oh well. Points for effort! :-)

We then reached the point in our day where we are so tired that we are sprawled out on the gym floor... We head home for naptime. Only one of us is of napping age. Therefore, myself and Braeden played a few rounds of Candyland. I found that we are both grossly competitive. I did not win. Let's not go there... Braeden, evidently, has learned (from someone....probably a parent....probably the male one...his mother is way too nice to do anything like that) that it is hilarous to gloat when you win! That was painful!

Two hours later, it's back in the mini-van for a night on the town. Okay, not exactly. We headed to "Soccer Tots" over at Total Soccer. That was actually a lot of fun! Ethen and I got a kick out of watching Braeden and his peers play "Foxes and Farmers" and notorious other soccer games.

We then headed to the nearest "Redbox" to rent "Bolt" per the movie buff's (Braeden) request. It was not long before both boys were sacked out and down for the count.

Eleven hours later, we are up and at 'em. Braeden has been looking forward to breakfast since yesterday. CHOCOLATE DONUTS!!!!!! Who wouldn't look forward to that! Ethen goes for the raisins.... I don't get it. Braeden is able to sway Ethen away from the dark side and encourages him to dunk his donuts into his water. Yum. Enticing. Still don't get it...

I'm sure we can squeeze in a few more adventure before this afternoon's return of the parental units!

Over and out!

"Our experiences do not DEFINE. They REFINE." -- V.B.G.

Okay, it's been a while. Not much more I can say about that! I've decided that having a blog requires one to actually sit down and, well, BLOG!!!!

It has been over a year since my last post. In that time, I have destroyed two vehicles, completed six weeks of physical therapy, drawn much close to my God (can I get an "Amen"?), experienced life-changing, spiritually rich friendships, purchased strange looking shoes, lost three loved ones (why do things always come in three's?), managed to weazle out of two speeding tickets (don't ask), considered dropping off a sleep number bed on the Raeses' front porch, watched someone named "Obama" assume the role of U.S. president (no comment), joined a small group that I love dearly, worked intermittently in a homeless shelter, tutored 4th graders, worked extensively in a church/public school program, taught 2nd graders, cleaned the bathroom (LOL!), and considered getting cable.

At the end of the day, I am ever so grateful that my identity is not "car-crashing-friendly-PT-shoe-purchasing-weazle who speeds-sleep numbers-Obama?-group member-friend to homeless-4th grade tutor-2nd grade teacher-bathroom cleaning-cable patron." :-) Can I get another "Amen"?

Over the past year, I've found myself learning more and more that my identity is Christ. He is everything. He is my lifeline, my every heartbeat, my hope, my joy, sometimes my sadness. "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." John 15:1-2. Lots of pruning has occured over the past year.

I am onstantly reminded that I was purchased at a very heavy price. I Cor. 6:19-20, "What? Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which you have in you? You are NOT your own! You were bought with a price! Therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's!" Therein lies my identity. I am God's. Plain and simple. At the end of each pruning, I am God's. At the start of each new bud, I am God's. This is not deep. It simply is.

If you are wondering when I will begin to get "deep", today is not the day. I am simply GRATEFUL for the One who defined me many years ago....

Read Ephesians. It's a pretty good book.